just can't make myself make music

"After silence that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."- Aldous Huxley

there's an album in me... 08 songs:
fastened, undone, lying, woods, bronchitis, enumeration, drown, uptown
i've got to get them out. but i can't. i don't know why not. maybe it is the fear of not knowing what to do once they are out. i'm 35. i'm too old to really do anything. right? i've sat in my home studio at my computer for hours--a guitar in my lap, headphones on, microphone in front of my mouth and it all pours out. that's not the problem. but how does a musician accurately capture the music in their head in bits and bytes? in 1984 tascam saved my life. in 2004 it was apple. its too cheap and easy. production is easy. implementation is hard.

once they're out... then what? criticism. ennui. success?
what is success?

maybe it doesn't matter. my needs are inexpressible right now. silence. but soon to be music.

...to be continued